perky ramblings

expect lots of pretty clothes and random stoof

internal-acceptance-movement:

10 WAYS WE BODY SHAME WITHOUT REALIZING IT:
1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” 
Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds”? You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.
2. Judging Other People’s Clothes 
While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style. The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.
3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing 
The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.
4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”
Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.
5. Making Up Body Parts 
We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.
6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight 
You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.
7. Using Pretend Compliments 
“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting.
8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines 
One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.
9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines 
A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?
10. Playing Dietitian 
If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?
Written by: Ragen Chastain

internal-acceptance-movement:

10 WAYS WE BODY SHAME WITHOUT REALIZING IT:

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” 

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds”? You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes 

While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style. The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing 

The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”

Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts 

We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight 

You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.

7. Using Pretend Compliments 

“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines 

One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines 

A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian 

If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

Written by: Ragen Chastain

(via stophatingyourbody)

A polyamorous rant

umbersol:

When was the last time
Someone said
You’re only allowed to love one parent. Choose wisely.
You’re only allowed to love one pet. Choose wisely.
You’re only allowed to love one child. Choose wisely.
You’re only allowed to love one sibling.
Choose wisely.

So why do people say
You’re only allowed to love one person.
Choose wisely.

(via crmsnfrn)

bloody-men-with-blue-eyes:

iatethelastofthecorn:

fandomacepilot:

Repeat after me kids:

A relationship does not have to be romantic and/or sexual to be important. 

image

This

(Source: frostlawyer, via catsuitmonarchy)

naule:

this is the exact opposite of a problem

my idea of heaven
bunnies

(Source: lolgifs.net, via flabulous)

vaishino:

cosplayblog:

Captain Amelia from Treasure Planet

Cosplayer: Ryoko Demon [TW / DA / FB]Photographer: Kifir [FL / DA]


:O I-incredible!

vaishino:

cosplayblog:

Captain Amelia from Treasure Planet

Cosplayer: Ryoko Demon [TW / DA / FB]
Photographer: Kifir [FL / DA]

:O I-incredible!

(via theprancingponee)



Are we really so different that we must be horrified of one of them uncovered, and completely okay with the other?

this is now my most favorited post ever

There’s like a million different ways to say “I love you”
“put your seat belt on”
“watch your step”
“get some rest”

..you just gotta listen

—   (via melon-milk)

(Source: meri-juana, via flabulous)

my newest tattoo 
custom price of circular gallefrayen 

photo taken just after it was finished

by Chris at couleys Newcastle

deathpup:

what happens if u put a werewolf on the moon is a great question probably the best question ever asked

(Source: deerwoof, via pelennors)

stophatingyourbody:

damnitkiki:

thin—mint:

anna-learns-to-love-herself:

ninnysunite:

beiibis:

Why is it cute when a skinny girl eats a lot but it’s disgusting when a fat girl do exactly same thing.

YessssssI’m half afraid to even eat like a small amount in public because people stare like, “I have found the hippo in its natural habitat.”

stop judging, stop body shaming, stop telling people what they should eat and how they should look like!

I’ve noticed this so, so much. When I was 200+, people used to criticize me for my love of sweets (and food in general). If I polished off a plate, somebody would almost always have *something* negative to say about it. Now that I’m ~135, my co-workers think it’s cute and funny that I like to snack on cookies at work, and my dates think it’s “refreshing” that I finish my meal. Funny world we live in. 


The bold!

stophatingyourbody:

damnitkiki:

thin—mint:

anna-learns-to-love-herself:

ninnysunite:

beiibis:

Why is it cute when a skinny girl eats a lot but it’s disgusting when a fat girl do exactly same thing.

Yessssss
I’m half afraid to even eat like a small amount in public because people stare like, “I have found the hippo in its natural habitat.”

stop judging, stop body shaming, stop telling people what they should eat and how they should look like!

I’ve noticed this so, so much. When I was 200+, people used to criticize me for my love of sweets (and food in general). If I polished off a plate, somebody would almost always have *something* negative to say about it. Now that I’m ~135, my co-workers think it’s cute and funny that I like to snack on cookies at work, and my dates think it’s “refreshing” that I finish my meal. Funny world we live in. 

The bold!